I love IKEA. One day I hope to live in IKEA and have 8 bedrooms to choose a different one every night to sleep in. The staff would tuck me in and I could live on meatballs.

IKEA have been in the UK for 30 years, Happy Birthday IKEA 🎉🎂 They are throwing a massive house party with a different decade on each floor designed exactly how your front room would have looked then. The 80s has chequered wallpaper, on the 90s floor there is blue WKD and Magic Eye books as well as a Nintendo you can play Mario Kart on. The 00s is all about feature wall and up another flight of stairs is The Future with a mirror you can chat to and a light changing wall. It’s so clever and if you are in London town between now and Saturday during the day, go and have a look. There are parties there each night though of course they sold out in about 8 seconds. I DJed there last night in the noughties room and if you want your own little party, I’ve done you a playlist of 00s bangers I played. Get someone to flash the dimmer switch, eat a Twiglet and you’ve got the greatest Friday night of all time.

Here’s the official IKEA House Party video with my face talking about about it all:

The IKEA Marketplace is the bit right at the end with all the plates and fake flowers and it’s one of my favourite places on earth. I usually spend three hours in there choosing candles, fake roses, soft toys, placemats and flamingo glasses (I shrieked when I found those) Sometimes I have to walk through quickly before I get drawn in, if I see a pink fork that’s it. Last time I only went to IKEA for a bathroom mirror and I came out with 18 cushions.

My current favourite IKEA piece is one of their armchairs. I think an armchair is a the sign of success. You’ve made it when you’ve got an armchair to eat a bit of Victoria sponge on or read unbothered because no one can sit next to you. The BENARP is colour of a tomato and I’m thinking of exchanging my bed for it. I also got very excited about this entire living room until I realised it was doll’s furniture.

House parties are the best because you can have nice drinks, full access to a fridge and if it’s your own house you can go to bed. Here are a few of my house party thoughts…

  • Lighting: Don’t underestimate a dimmer switch. Also a few lamps around the place. By the time I get to a party I will have almost definitely split something down myself so low lighting is terrific to disguise this.
  • Music: Music is obviously vital, but so is volume. I love talking and there is nothing worse than you’re in the middle of a brilliant anecdote and the music is too loud. I have been known to ask to turn the music down at parties and I’m a DJ. Everyone hates you for a minute and then they go, “oh this is so nice, I love this song and I can talk to this man I fancy.”
  • Food: Food is controversial at a party. My sister doesn’t believe in food at parties, I believe in food everywhere. But it should never be left out too long. Soft crisps, houmous with a skin on it and a olive going crinkly is just not ok. The best policy is eat it or get rid of it. Or better, serve some little canapé things. Take them round, make people eat them (they’ll want to) and then finish the last ones off yourself, DONE.
  • People: The bottom line is you need people to have a party but make it quality and not quantity. One of the best parties I ever had was with three other people. Get everyone to bring someone but tell them they have to be brilliant. In fact they should tell you a brilliant fact about that person before they’re allowed in invite them.

xxox